Saturday, October 8, 2011

Gossip Girl

The other day I was chatting to someone and they mentioned a detail about my life that they shouldn't know. Sure, it wasn't a secret, but its something I've certainly never mentioned before and really, I can see no reason why it would come up in a usual conversation with me or with anyone. Obviously this person had been speaking to someone else about me - and for some reason they had gone into details about my life and this happened to be the topic of the conversation. And then they mentioned it in our conversation (so they obviously weren't aware of the fact that there was no need for them to know such details).

Days later and without a huge amount of company this weekend its been on my mind and I can't get it out. So now i'm going to have a rant on my blog and tell you (and me) that we gossip far too much (because its my blog and I do what I want).

In this instance it wasn't bad, it wasn't a secret, it didn't hurt me and it wasn't untrue... I was just shocked that they had obviously been speaking about me in that way and sharing details of my life with each other which I had not spoken to either of them about. And for what reason?

I always thought that as long as I wasn't being cruel or malicious I wasn't gossiping. Now I realise its so much more than that. Where do the lines of interesting conversation and gossip cross? The line is blurry, however, there must be a line because I certainly felt like they had crossed one.

This has made me realise that what I consider "interesting conversation" might actually fall in the category of "personal details" in someone else's life. Who are we to share details about other peoples lives? And if we do, what do we gain from it? Gossip gives us nothing in return except perhaps a fleeting moment of excitement and a few extra minutes on conversation. Gossip takes away our integrity, relationships and trust. It makes us poorer, not richer. It steals away our goodness.

I am certainly guilty of this, as are [probably] you.

The tongue should be tamed, like anything else that requires training and intentional effort. I really believe that who we are comes through our mouths. Lovely joyful people speak life and sad malicious people speak death. I think gossip falls into the latter and I certainly dont want to be that sort of person. As with most things, to make a change first you need to realise what needs to be changed. I am so grateful for this revelation and want to pick things up and be a person who has real interesting conversations full of life.

If we have a conversation and you think I'm being a hypocrite and a gossip please pull me up on it. Do I have permission to do the same with you? Why not give your friends permission now. Lets hold each other accountable for our words.

...And because I have an abundance of cute photos to share, here is your Camilla fix for the day ;)


  1. ok im in!! :) always good to have a reminder cause it so easily creeps in on me!!
    i have a good friend in auckland who never engages in gossip & i admire her so much for it :)
    p.s i also love how in general i'v found guys hate gossip & r good at pulling girls up aout it
    xx <3

  2. Welcome to the party! I agree, guys seem to be really good at it in general. Perhaps its because females are typically more conversation driven? We reach for things to talk about and decide that talking about others is interesting?

  3. I'm in too. It's a relatively constant struggle for me sadly :( But accountability is great.

  4. That is such a gorgeous photo. I love the verse in Psalms that says 'I have resolved that my mouth will not sin' so challenging. Got a way to go but definitely something that matters to me.


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