Facebooking with Wooden Spoons

My Mother called me this morning "Wheres your electric beater?! Do you not have one?"

"Huh? It's broken. Why?"

It seems that even though I'm not on ol' Facey people still talk about me on there.

Last night the husband uploaded a video of me creaming butter and sugar while Milla looked on and tried to stick her hand in the mixture. I was using a wooden spoon and I didn't realise he had uploaded it. Hence the phone call. Mum will call me about almost anything that I put on the interwebs (hi Mum!).

Immediately I jumped on Facey to have a look. Whhaaat? Day Two: fail. Urg.

You might be pleased to know that I restricted myself; I didn't check any of the 11 notifications I had staring me down; I just wanted to see the video and see what part of our home life had been shared with the outside world. The video wouldn't load anyway. Double fail. Waste of time.

Lesson One: Facey is its own little world. Even if I'm not on it, it still exists and operates and I can chose to participate or not. I felt a little bit panicked when I found out that people were watching a video of me I didn't know existed and were commenting and liking and -I- wasn't reading the posts. (How many people liked it!? What were they saying? Did they think it was cute? Did they mock me for using a wooden spoon??)

The husband is a big social media user, when we were talking about my fast last night he didn't reallllly seem to understand it, asking why I couldn't just cut down my time and what was going off it going to achieve when I would just go straight back on when the week was over?

Well. Hopefully after a week my habit and need to check it every half hour might be broken. Maybe I wont feel the need to do that next week? Maybe with going cold turkey this week I'll get a gazillion things done and I'll think "I never want to waste time again". Maybe I'll realise how much I don't need it in my life. Maybe I'll make more of an effort seeing friends in RL because I wont know what they had for dinner last night.

Yesterday went wonderfully. In lou of Facey I cleaned mould (woohoo), blogged, read my book and played with Milla, saw a real life friend and went on two big walks and baked (with a wooden spoon). It was a great day! Today is shaping up to be just as good even though I slipped up a little bit this morning.

Walked into the lounge yesterday and "caught" Milla sitting up all by herself! BIG girl! 

The Sisterhood

In all of our excess we have been to the petrol station twice in the last week to fill up our [new] car. The same station, different staff. The first visit I sat in the passenger seat while Graeme filled up and ran inside to pay. A member of the staff hobbled infront of our car, he was using a walking crutch and had $20 clutch tightly in his palm. Hobbling one-tenth of Graeme's speed. I wept. A man with such a disability being forced to work on the forecourt. It seemed unjust, unfair. Didn't he have anyone to take care of him? He should be home, resting. Who knows what is wrong with him!? I was angry at the world.

The second incident, I went inside to pay. The man behind the counter was missing an arm. I wept. I didn't feel pity this time, instead I felt a surge of joy. These people are being hired. I know. It sounds so crude of me to think that. But that is what I thought.

It seems that ever since my pregnancy I can't help but notice and feel.

Last week I had a phone call from my Mother to inform me that my brother had not eaten in days. He had no money. Nothing. And he was starving. Did I mention that he had the flu? He did. I wept. I've never seen him so happy to see me as I rushed to his home with groceries in hand.

As I sit here in bed, a little bit sleep deprived and high on emotions and hormones I am furious at the world. How is it that my own brother could live in such poverty (my own freaking brother!??)!? I was angry. And then I thought, if its happening in my own family, here in first world New Zealand, it must be happening in your circles too? (or is it just me?)



I am realising more and more how blessed I am how much excess I live in.

Aren't we blogging sisters? Aren't we in excess of gifts and talents and time and energy and creativity? Aren't we able to help others?

I figure there will be at least 2 types of people reading this.

1) You feel angry like me and want to do something about it. Perhaps you could fufill a need for a fellow Sister?

2) You are in need of your Sisters help, or you know of someone who is.

Maybe its financial. Maybe its not. Maybe you just need a break from the kids, or you just really need that phone bill paid, or you really need a date with your Man.

I don't know who and I don't know how, but perhaps in my wildest dreams this could be a forum to open up and share some gifts. To be honest I don't know what we can achieve, but I know that we wont achieve anything without putting it out there.

You are my Sisterhood. You're invited. Come and be blessed or come and lend a hand. Isn't that what we're here for?

Email me. sophieslim@moo2.co.nz

I really want to hear from you. About anything. 

Gossip Girl

The other day I was chatting to someone and they mentioned a detail about my life that they shouldn't know. Sure, it wasn't a secret, but its something I've certainly never mentioned before and really, I can see no reason why it would come up in a usual conversation with me or with anyone. Obviously this person had been speaking to someone else about me - and for some reason they had gone into details about my life and this happened to be the topic of the conversation. And then they mentioned it in our conversation (so they obviously weren't aware of the fact that there was no need for them to know such details).

Days later and without a huge amount of company this weekend its been on my mind and I can't get it out. So now i'm going to have a rant on my blog and tell you (and me) that we gossip far too much (because its my blog and I do what I want).

In this instance it wasn't bad, it wasn't a secret, it didn't hurt me and it wasn't untrue... I was just shocked that they had obviously been speaking about me in that way and sharing details of my life with each other which I had not spoken to either of them about. And for what reason?

I always thought that as long as I wasn't being cruel or malicious I wasn't gossiping. Now I realise its so much more than that. Where do the lines of interesting conversation and gossip cross? The line is blurry, however, there must be a line because I certainly felt like they had crossed one.

This has made me realise that what I consider "interesting conversation" might actually fall in the category of "personal details" in someone else's life. Who are we to share details about other peoples lives? And if we do, what do we gain from it? Gossip gives us nothing in return except perhaps a fleeting moment of excitement and a few extra minutes on conversation. Gossip takes away our integrity, relationships and trust. It makes us poorer, not richer. It steals away our goodness.

I am certainly guilty of this, as are [probably] you.

The tongue should be tamed, like anything else that requires training and intentional effort. I really believe that who we are comes through our mouths. Lovely joyful people speak life and sad malicious people speak death. I think gossip falls into the latter and I certainly dont want to be that sort of person. As with most things, to make a change first you need to realise what needs to be changed. I am so grateful for this revelation and want to pick things up and be a person who has real interesting conversations full of life.

If we have a conversation and you think I'm being a hypocrite and a gossip please pull me up on it. Do I have permission to do the same with you? Why not give your friends permission now. Lets hold each other accountable for our words.

...And because I have an abundance of cute photos to share, here is your Camilla fix for the day ;)