Get Well Katie

So good to see this one eating again, after a tummy bug that has lasted nearly 5 days. 

Thankfully it was a kind of sick that makes a little one lethargic, so there was much more sleeping than screaming which is always nice. 

Here's to some sunny days to catch up on washing and a super strength immunity shield to protect the rest of us from catching the awful thing!

Tough Girl

Thank you so much for all of your concern over our hurt precious. Perhaps having an injured child is a right of passage. I'm not sure, I do know it was incredibly scary and not something I want to go through again. I'll never forget that blood squirting at me and filling Millas mouth at the same time as she screamed and choked. Deary me. I'm sorry.

Moving along.

Once we were at the doctors she was perky as, as if it hadn't even happened. Maybe it was because her Dad was there during daylight hours which is quite a treat! She was such a little chatter box!

Tomorrow we have to go back to the doctors to have the steritape removed and to see if the cut closed properly (I do hope they put the tape on tight enough while Milla was writhing to get free).

Thankfully Milla has just been her usual self all week, even eating her veges :)

I love my readers, thank you for being one of them.

Love,
Sophie

Hurt Precious

My Precious.

A tumble down some stairs had me weak at the knees. Blood was spraying everywhere looking far worse than it was. Thank goodness for fast acting, confident friends who know what they're doing. Thank goodness for Mr Moo being sick off work, meaning I had the car at play group. Thank goodness for a happy little girl who I love so much. 

Our Precious. 

2 Admissions Later

I went into hospital yesterday for my minor procedure - just getting a piece of me cut off that had ripped during millas birth and was never stitched or healed properly. They put me first on the list because I played the breastfeeding card, I was appreciative. I only had local anasthetic so I was awake during the procedure.

I later told Graeme that walking into the theatre was like walking into Heaven (okay in hindsight that's not right. But thats what it felt like) As soon as I walked in everyone stopped what they were doing, turned and welcomed me with open arms. Litterally, "Sophie! Welcome! Come in! Are you warm?! Come over here! Its so lovely to see you!" Ah, I felt so special.

A lovely older nurse called Betty (aren't the best older ladies called Betty!?) held my hand and talked to me the whole way through. She had smilie stickers on her name badge. Aren't the best people-people those who have stickers on their badges?! During the procedure I thanked her so much for being there. She told me she had been a nurse forever. I said that I bet she had seen a thing or two. She revealed that she had been thinking of writing her experiences down. I said that if she ever did I would love to read her account. Thank you Betty :)

I'm a bit of a tank, took about 8 goes for the local to work. They kept cutting in and I could feel it :s Same with the stitches. Yeouch!

I went into Step Down, waited a little bit, had a bite to eat and then we left together. I felt good! I was exceptionally bubbly despite being a little numb down there.

We decided to go to Addington Co-Op - a great fair trade cafe in Christchurch that donates all of their profits to the communities that supply all of their coffee in the first place (isn't that freakin' awesome!??) and have some breakfast. It was still early in the morning and the whole process happened much faster than we had expected.

When we pulled up I noticed my leggings were soaked in blood. Oh oh. I got out the truck and gush. Blood. Everywhere. I dashed into the cafe, desperate to get to a toilet. It was aweful.

We made it back to the hospital where they quickly readmitted me and helped me clean up. Graeme dashed home to get me clean clothes. I had to sit on a big pad so they could measure how much blood was coming out. I could hear them on the phone "You have to come now, she's loosing too much"

Graeme was there. I felt dizzy and faint. I passed out, and then Betty was back in my face "Betty!" I was happy. She's nice. Graeme kissed me goodbye (Betty told him he could) and I was in a room signing consent forms and being asked if I could put my bottom teeth infront of my top teeth. I was told to open my eyes, Betty was next to me hand in hand again, and then I woke up.

A doctor was standing next to me and I found myself half way through a sentence telling him that my husband probably made that plastic wind-chime above my bed. "You know those flashing dairy signs? The ones that say open? Yeah. They actually import those" The doctor walked away. There I was, spilling my husbands biggest secrets.

The dramas were over. I was fixed up. What was so simple turned a little complicated, but doctors and surgeons are really good at their jobs. I am very very sore today so I will be resting.

Graeme spent the whole day looking after Camilla, she ended up missing out a milk feed because I was away but she coped really really well, as did Graeme. I'm so proud of them both :) Graeme is a great Daddy. Last night while he was feeding her dinner I heard him say in the kindest voice "You have to chew it nice and big baby" as if she understood. I mentioned it. "I think she can understand" he said. Urg, you are so kind!

I feel a bit silly posting this:
1) this all may be an overshare.
2) There are people going through much scarier things.
3) Its not really that huge of a deal. I posted on FB yesterday that I had been in hospital, people jump to such conclusions when you mention the H word. I am not sick! I am okay :) However, this is my blog, and this is a big deal for me this week.
4) While at the hospital I desperately wanted them to know that I had never been before. They all knew I had a baby, random nurses would pop in and tell me how cute she was, but I found people were assuming I her there. "What hospital did you give birth in?" "How long did you stay here after birth?" "Did you have any pain relief during your labour here?" . "Actually, I had a home birth" I said, swelling up with pride.

This may not actually make sense. I'm a little doped up on codine, the good stuff.

Thank you so much to those who text me saying they were praying for me. I read those just as I was rushing back to hospital. They helped :)

A Fast Birth

A momentary glace at each other showed me everything; they were nervous.

I had to know, "Whats wrong?" I breathed.

"Nothing, nothing..." They both chimed back in unison. Something was definitely wrong. I could see it in their concentration. The happy lines on their faces had hardened. These ladies had seen the greatest and worst moments that life has to offer and right now they were preparing themselves for what lay ahead. I felt it.

I looked next to me at my worried husband. His worry was different, it was a natural concern as he looked on his wife and his future. Unlike my two ladies, his eyes spoke to me. They were deep and full of love and yearning; bloodshot and welling up with tears.

"Why are they lying to me? Whats wrong?" I asked him directly with a hiss in my voice. He looked confused. I knew he didn't know.

"Sophie. We have to get this baby out right now. I need you to give me the biggest push you have. She has to come now" I was told by my midwife. Usually so happy and chirpy now she was laying down the law.

This was the time to listen and do but I was confused; half an hour earlier she had told me when we got to this moment I would need to pause and stop; I would need to hold my baby in, breathe, relax and fight the temptation to push. The baby would need time to rotate her body so that she could be birthed. All of a sudden there was no time for that essential part of the process? I was confused.

I dug deep inside myself as the contractions took over my being. They controlled me now. They had won. This baby was coming.

I pushed. I pushed. I pushed.

"Sophie, this baby needs to come now. I need a really big push!"

"THESE ARE BIG PUSHES JANINE!" I yelled, staring straight into her eyes. Who was she to tell me that I wasn't pushing hard enough? I had my foot on her shoulder and I pushed off her, straight into the wall behind me. I realised I could go much much harder and I gave it everything. In those moments who knows what I could have achieved if I was not limited to my own bedroom. With that adrenaline I could have ran up Everest, lifted the Titanic from its depths, stopped an earthquake it its tracks (or created one). Instead I was doing the greatest thing I have ever done.

I gave birth to my little girl in one quick second. She wasn't there and then all of a sudden she was. Bright pink and sticky white. She was scooped up and placed on my bare chest. She let out a little newborn cry and I couldn't believe my life. This. Perfection. Love. Life. It was all too much.

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I was later informed that the midwives thought Camilla's head was actually her umbilical chord. They couldn't find a heart beat so I had to change positions to be bum down (the hardest position to birth in). A heart rate still could not be found so I needed to get her out. Now. No dawdling around.

Following the birth it was apparent that Camilla just had a particularly squishy head and for whatever reason her pulse just wasn't to be found. She was perfectly happy and healthy. However my fast birth caused ripping which later was not stitched correctly. I was left with a large amount of skin that hangs and connects to nothing.

While medically I am in a fit and healthy order it still doesn't make me feel particularly good on the inside and over time is slowly getting worse. This Friday I am going into hospital to have it cut off.

A part of me feels like this is some dirty secret that I am revealing. I suppose it is a bit (a lot) personal but it certainly isn't dirty. These are the results of a fairly normal and natural birth and like stretch marks and wobbly bellies that you can't fix, this can be fixed, so I am having it done.

I've never been in hospital (if you don't count this little incident) and I am thoroughly nervous.

I don't regret the birth I had or my midwives instructions. She was protecting me and our baby and looking out for our best interests, at the time we did what seemed right. I am also thankful to every medical professional I have spoken to about this. I was worried that no one would take me seriously and tell me its not a big deal "Just one of the results of childbirth. What? Did you think it would be a walk in the park?"(No, they never said that but it was always the reaction I expected), thankfully all have been very encouraging to have it righted and made the process very easy.

Wish me luck :)

My Ear Tampon

Last night Graeme took me to the Hospital (my first ever visit!!) to get my ear checked out. I know it seems really silly, and like something I should just get over, but it honestly felt like the death of me.

I now have an ear wick inserted (I would rather call it ear tampon) which was a tiny thin piece of some type of absorbent something. The doc inserted it into my ear, and when Graeme adds the ear drops it expands and soaks them all up so they will actually stay in my ear (because its so swollen, Doc didn't think the ear drops would even get in on their own).

Right now the tampon is hurting like anything, it feels like I have a fist in my ear, my jaw and head and face is sore, so I cant lye down, eat or talk properly, and my balance is off so I feel like I'm going to throw up all the time.

*sigh* I really am a big baby, but as long as I have a willing husband who takes care of me I think thats okay.