- I still cannot believe how well my second birth went. I thought the first went well enough but I had no idea how it could be even better. I'm so so grateful and thankful for that experience. I almost wish I had it filmed now, I wish I could show you it (but also not, you know).
- I never knew If I was "a baby mum" or not. You know how some say they loved the baby years, and others say they were so glad to get out of it. Well now that I have a toddler and a baby, I can definitely say I prefer the baby moments. She's just SO EASY guys. All she does is sleep, eat and smile. It's crazy adorable.
- Some times I wonder what the heck I did as a first time Mum. Why did I feel so busy?! But then I take the guilt off, I -was- busy. It's all relative. I'm sure if I had 10 kids I'd be thinking the same thoughts for when I "only had 5 kids".
- I'm kind of in mourning for the last 5 months. Where did that time go? Seriously guys, it's getting me down. Why on earth was I so concerned with to-do lists and keeping busy!??! I know. Deep down I was trying to feel like I was achieving something. When each day seems to be useless, so "busy" just living its nice to have an acomplishment. But now I wonder, did I cuddle my baby enough? Did I smell her? Did I kiss her cheeks enough? It worries me, I'll be honest. That other -stuff- I was doing, pointless in comparison.
- I'm learning so much more about myself as I get to the end of myself. Who am I really?
- I'm also trying to learn what fills me up. What fills my happy cup? and focussing on that. I'm in need of some serious filling to overflowing these days. It feels like my cup has holes in the bottom and its all draining out. My crochet mix blanket helps, I've mostly ditched the lists, I've created more space in my day, I've been on a few runs by myself, I've started reading a fantastic book. And when I get a smart phone again (hopefully soonish), I'll be back into reading The Word more regularly again. It all helps to clear some space.
- I love my girls so so much.
- It's awesome to see them growing together as sisters. There are definitely extreme moments. It's not all cute instagram pictures around here. Some times Milla has just had enough and who knows what she's capable of, other moments she's laying down with Katie telling her about the sky outside. Being 2 is very hard, did you know?
- It's all learning and it's all life. Let's all just take a chill pill and let it happen, okay?
No need to comment, I'm just thinking out-loud here :)
I hope everyone reading this is feeling well and having their happy cups filled. Love to you xx
You could be writing about me up there. I just went back through to specify which points I relate to, and actually all of them I do! Time is flying and often I ask myself, when Théo is in bed...does he know how much I love him?! Did I leave him for too long lying on his mat while I was with the girls!?! He's such a sweet, patient, peaceful little guy! and when the girls go crazy (because being 3 is very hard sometimes too) am I being a good mum or just a grumpy mum (which I feel like all too often these days!). Ah, I was thinking the other day that being a mum is such a paradox...there are moments that I feel so overwhelmed, crazy, like a failure...but I wouldn't trade it in for all the world. As they say in French "courage!" that you consider all of these things and clearly adore your girls, you're doing a fantastic job, even if there are moments of craziness, mess and doubting yourself. We learn so much as we go along....just need to find that "time-slow-down" switch ;o) Hope your cup is running over again soon (and your next home is revealed!). What book are you reading?
ReplyDeleteIt's all a journey and a learning process - enjoy it all regardless. It's the stuff that makes life and it's ever changing. Hope your cup is full today x
ReplyDeleteBeing 2 really is hard. I love seeing the baby look up to his big brother though, it's adorable.
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