Katie's Birth Story

(I'm sharing Katie's birth story as a way to encourage you in your own. For women everywhere, power and strength is possible, and courage can be found. Be blessed and thank you for reading and supporting us in this journey!)

My second time giving birth was the same, and yet completely different to the first.

Camillas birth was mostly everything I knew that I wanted. I can see now in hindsight that it was fast progressing and I went into shock, I was shouty and panicy, but at the time I wasn't aware that happened, I only had happy memories. I kept saying to my midwife "If I could just have a repeat of Camilla's birth then that would be perfect".

I didn't see how I could possibly have it any better!

Being my second I felt much more clued on to the options that were available to me (not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well) and the things that I wanted and how I wanted them done. I felt I could prepare much better this time around as I knew what I was heading into. Believe me, I did a lot of research heading into my first home birth, but this time I was more aware as to how my particular body and mind coped, and what I would like to do differently to support that.

Physically we planned the same birth - to be at home and in water.

But to be different, in a nutshell: I wanted to feel much more in control of the labour - I wanted to be able to listen to my body instead of a text book and a clock, I wanted a whole range of natural tools to manage the pain if I needed to, and I wanted to feel strong and powerful rather than filled with fear. We also planned to be much more organised and set up for the birth at the beginning of labour, rather than waiting for it to progress (my last labour was 6 hours but the last stage happened very quickly and we didn't get the water birth we hoped for, and we expected this one to be even faster.)

I had been feeling uncomfortable on Snow Day (Friday) while I was 39 weeks pregnant. I didn't think anything of it though. The last few weeks of pregnancy leave you with lots of niggles, aches and pains. We had a great day at home that Friday, snow was on the ground and Milla and I built huts and read books all afternoon. I had received a handmade hot-water bottle cover gifted from my friend Deb that morning from the courier and Nanny Moo2 had braved the snow to gift us a new fan heater and PJs. (These 3 things actually completed our "to get" list for the birth, it was perfect timing).

Graeme went out on Friday night to play poker at a friends house. I spent the evening cleaning and organising. I just knew the baby was coming. I set up the lounge as our birthing area with as many things off our check list as I could. I also text my two support friends, Dawn and Amanda, to warn them that I may be going into labour at some point in the night.

Katies bunting was hung as a last minute touch and I went to bed excited. In bed I downloaded a contraction timing app and phoned Graeme and warned him that he should probably come home at a respectable hour and to be prepared that I might go into labour during the night.

Graeme arrived home around midnight and watched TV programs and basketball on his laptop in bed (much to my annoyance and constant nagging "you should get some sleep, we might have the baby today"). He finally closed his laptop at 1.30am, seconds before I had my first contraction. He was already asleep so I tried to time them as quietly as I could. At 2am, half an hour after the first I couldn't possibly stay in bed any longer, they began and continued to be 5 minutes apart and were getting stronger and stronger.

I woke up Graeme and told him this was it, we needed to get organised. He asked to pray for us, and we told God how excited we were to meet out little girl and asked him to look after all of us. Then we both jumped out of bed and got into action.

I stopped timing the contractions after that first half an hour. I really wanted to be able to connect with my body and have it tell me what was happening and to go with it rather than being told what should be happening.

Our beloved midwife and support girls were called along with Nanny to pick up Milla. One by one they arrived. Our midwife, Janine, arrived straight away. I was given an IV in my hand which was another pre-planned tool we had. I wasn't so good at the last stage of labour last time and lost a lot of blood, this was a "just incase" (it wasn't used in the end, I aced that last stage!)

The heaters were on, the pool was filled up, the lights off and the fairy lights on. It truly felt perfect; like a dim hot nest for me to be in. I so enjoy labouring in my own space. I really cant use words to do the scene justice. It was completely perfect. I felt so comfortable.

I laboured completely differently this time around. I really tried to feel in touch and in control of the contractions and my body and to go with them rather than against them. Instead of talking and yelling my head off (like last time) my labouring was much more gutteral this time, I "ooo'ed" and "mmmmm'ed"and "hummmm'ed" and pushed myself into our couch and pillows. Graeme applied hard pressure to my lower back, another thing that was different (last time I didn't want anyone to touch me). We had practiced acupressure but in the moment I preferred the rounded feeling of his lower palms, I felt like I was able to communicate that really clearly and knew what I wanted, and Graeme was really responsive to my needs and was able to fulfill them.

I talked and made bad jokes in between contractions (apparently I'm the chattiest in labour person my midwife has come across - yuss!). I felt like I was having fun, it was a real joy to have everyone there. It felt exciting and I had a little buzz within me.

I looked around and appreciated that every single person in the room was there because they loved us. I thanked them over and over again. Knowing why they were there made everything all the more special and I felt so supported and loved in those moments. They were very defining in how relaxed and peaceful I felt. And I really did feel peaceful. Everything just felt so... right.

It was time for me to get into the pool which felt like instant relief. The weightlessness, the warmth; My body felt wrapped up and supported and it was the best relief. I'm so glad we made the effort to prepare for a water birth again!

Once in the pool it took a while for my next contraction to come, Graeme sat beside the pool and whispered his story about getting Milla out of bed and Nanny taking her away. His eyes welled up as he told me how she responded to hearing that we were having the baby, just like how she does with her baby books. I could see the love in his teary eyes. He loves that girl with everything he has and I felt so much gratitude then in knowing I was about to give him another little girl, knowing he would love her completely too. He's a good husband and Daddy, we are so blessed.

The contractions resumed and I was in the pool for about 25 minutes when I started to lose the grip on my control, I started to say "I couldn't do it" - the mantra of Transition. Dawn was sitting right in front of me and I saw her face light up as she recognised that saying from her own three labours, her face shone with joy and I remembered that the baby must be close.

Moments later I announced that I needed to push, which I spent 6 minutes doing. I could feel every movement and every millimeter that she decended. That sensation was so real, I could feel her moving out. I didn't get that with Camilla, it was all hasty at the end and I had to push her out in one go. But with Katie I could take our time. She slowly (actually, rather quickly) decended, and I waited for her to turn, then finally her head.

Throughout the labour and pushing I spoke to Katie and my different body parts out loud. I was so aware that Katie was doing a lot of hard work too, having to squeeze through all those bones, I wanted to make the journey for her as painless as possible. I commanded everything else to open up for her and to do as they were supposed to do. I really did feel so strong and powerful. I believed everything I was saying and I really do think that my body listened to my commands.

Katie was born at 4.10am on Saturday morning.

My midwife caught her and brought her up and around to me. I wept dry tears of happiness. She was quiet and warm and placed in my arms. She was breathing so quietly almost as if she was sleeping. We cuddled in the water with Graeme's arms around us while I blew on her face and we spoke to her, our Daughter. Finally she gave a tiny little cry, my heart sighed of relief. I kept saying thank you over and over again, and an indescribable, involuntary tongue slipped passed my lips, what I can only guess as being a thanksgiving prayer.

We sat for a very long moment and soaked her in. She was so tiny and so beautiful, absolutely perfect.

I moved from the pool to my birth mat set up with blankets and pillows for a comfortable last stage, along with the biggest umbilical chord my two midwives have laid their eyes on. I needed a few stitches, which was nothing compared to last time (and have already healed now, unlike needing further surgery months later last time).

Katie began to latch, cups of tea and toast were made for everyone involved and I was the happiest woman alive.

My support girls left after a long while tidying up and took my washing with them. Then we were tucked up in bed with Katie snoozing naked on Graeme's chest our midwife did a final check and left at 8am. We slept till 11am together in our own bed.

Our friends had changed our sheets and rehung Katies Bunting above our bed. One of my favourite parts of having a home birth is slipping into a clean bed with a naked baby and a handsome husband, skin to skin for hours, it's a breeding ground for Oxytocin.

From my first contraction the labour took just over 2 and a half hours and I spent 6 minutes pushing. It was much quicker than my last 6 hour labour but it felt like the perfect amount of time. Nothing about it felt rushed or out of control, everything was organised and peaceful and felt completely normal.

I love Katie's birth. Every part of it happened with peace, strength and power just like I had hoped and prepared for. I felt completely supported through every moment and if I knew that I was doing it all again tonight I would go into it confidently, just as I did that Saturday morning. It was an empowering experience and one that I feel blessed for having. My lasting memories of it will be of joy with an excited buzz and a peaceful calmness.

I am so glad I spent all those months preparing myself mentally, spiritually and physically. I was in a different mental place this time around and I believe my labour experience and Katie's birth reflected that.

I am so thankful for those who were there: 
Graeme - My man who knows how to read a check list and how to read my mind.

Dawn - For those strong hands and your joy at me saying "I couldn't do it"

Amanda - All those hot jugs you boiled! I so appreciate your braveness at supporting me in a home birth.

Janine - My incredible midwife who believes in bodies and birth, you empower woman!

Jo - My back up midwife, thank you for coming all the way from Diamond Habour in the middle of the night!! (And on a day you were competing in a big ocean swim comp! Incredible!)

Nanny and Poppa - For taking Milla at 3am and her being cool about it really helped me. It was so nice to know she would be having a great time with you!

And God - thank you for being with us.


READ MORE:
Camilla's Home Birth (my first daughter)
Everything I've written about Home Births
Katie's Monthly updates
Katie's First Day Of Life
Breastfeeding Katie

Her First Day

Just like last time, the first day of Katies life was spent in a hot dim room skin to skin with her parents. 

I couldn't imagine it any other way. We feel so blessed. 

Milla Meets Katie

That first sharing moment

I was so nervous about the meeting of Sisters. I needn't have been. 

It felt like a make or break it moment when I heard the sliding door to our apartment open and Milla step inside. She had spent the whole day at her Nanny and Poppas after being picked up around 3am when I was in labour.

Initially we had planned to leave her in her bed if I was labouring at night. We like routine. Milla likes routine. But in those hasty moments of preparing and calling midwives and support friends, Nanny was called too. Suddenly the proximity of my labouring area and Millas bedroom was apparent.  I was aware of waking her and having to deal with organising something I couldn't think about when I was trying to focus on birth.

She arrived back about 5pm a night, still in her PJs and with a big smile. She had loved her time with Nanny and Poppa. 

Milla appeared in the doorway. She was tentative, she knew something was going on as she entered our dimly lit bedroom.

The first meeting was quiet and filled with curiosity. Afterwards MrMoo got her organised and put her to bed.

The next morning is when the magic happened. After waking she made her way down to our bedroom,  after peering in through the crack in the door she bounded in, pointing and yelling "BAYYBEE!!". Within seconds Milla was on our bed and sharing her beloved Duckie and Tiger with her new Sister, along with planting wet kisses on her face. 

My heart grew! What relief!

I was amazed at how much of a natural she was! We were aware of forcing her to do something she didn't want to do, so were thrilled when she wanted to share her toys and kiss her Sister without our prompts!

The last two and a half weeks have been living out that one moment. Milla is filled with curiosity, love and gentleness for her little Sis. I'm so glad we could give that relationship to them both. Sisters for life! Long may it last!

((Looky, MrMoo is having tshirt dejavu with his newborn!))

Introducing: Katie

Introducing::

Katie Anne Laughton-Mutu

Born 4.11am on Saturday, 22/06/13 | Weight: 7lb 14.5 oz
Born at home in water after a short 3 hour labour.

Everything is just as it should be. 

Baby Moon Bedroom

Welcome to the Baby Moon Bedroom!

At the weekend we swapped our bedrooms around and upgraded to biggest bedroom in our house! We're hoping that the extra space and distance from Millas bedroom would be suitable to house a crying newborn in the night. Our toddler is a light sleeper! (fun fact: Milla was born in this room!)

So far she's handled the change of bedrooms perfectly. As I've mentioned we put up fairy lights in the lounge that are set on a timer to be lit from 6-8am. This works perfectly, Milla wakes up and sees the light and heads towards the lounge. Eventually after a little play she will come down and see us at the other end of the hallway. Perfect! (I'm also hoping the fairy lights will create a nice atmosphere for birthing in the lounge)

With the addition of the made up basinet, newborn clothes all washed and folded in a box (currently perching inside the basinet), a Kindness Quilt, newborn - celebration bunting and brand new pillows for night time feeds, I am feeling very well set up in our bedroom for our baby moon! 

In Baby Preparation

A few thoughts:

• This baby (and I) are officially "full term". I've tried so hard this time round not to think of a "due date". Very few people know my actual date, and when asked for it I usually give a different answer each time. A lot of the reason for that is because I actually can't remember it. Instead I've been thinking "some time in June" and now that its June, I kind of mentally feel like I've passed my due date. Doh. I definitely haven't yet, but its all a mental mind game.
• In the last week I have been fighting off two ear infections, a chesty coldy cough, Millas tummy bug and MrMoos manflu. But life goes on. I just wish I was feeling more stronger at this stage of my pregnancy. Instead I'm trying to focus on my mind being strong.
• We're swapping bedrooms around today and blowing up the birthpool. Following that we will be all ready to have this baby girl!
• We've put fairy lights up in our lounge on a timer for the morning so Milla will be able to find her way around the house when she wakes up in the dark. I love them, I wish they were on all the time, and now I'm quite excited to be labouring and potentially giving birth in our lounge with such pretty lighting.
• A surprise babyshower was thrown for us this weekend! Everyone pulled it off so well, I truly had no idea! I always thought I wouldn't like to have a surprise party because I love to know everything, but since everyone played their part so well I wasn't suspicious at all and LOVED IT! So much fun! Surprise parties are now officially my favourite! (more on the baby shower later)
• I ordered Spiritual Midwifery and received it yesterday, I'm already half way through (spending the afternoon "resting" in bed will allow you that luxury. Thank you MrMoo!). I'm enjoying it, if thats the term you would use? So far the biggest impact its had on me is understanding that each birth is completely different, yet each birth completely normal. 
• I'm taking time each day to be thankful and appreciate the good, its helping immensely  especially at such a hormonal, everything feels everywhere, time of my life. 

Preparing for Feeding

I had a great breastfeeding relationship with Milla right from the first minutes of her life. She latched straight away and continued to feed well over the next year.

I can see now that there are a few things I can do to prepare for feeding to make it as comfortable and easy as possible for both of us. Here's a few tips if you're planning to go down that road yourself:

1) Clothing: Your whole wardrobe is going to be based on accessibility for the next few months. As baby gets older and you're feeding less you can get away with wearing some trickier clothing items, but until then layers are going to be your best friends!

I have one of these new Breastmates Clip On Cami's that I can't wait to use! Its another in the Breastmates self designed and produced line, it clips on to a maternity bra so you don't have extra straps on your shoulders, you're not stretching down your ordinary singlet tops(!!) and you dont have a million layers over your boobs.

I love Breastmates clothing, the quality is so good and long lasting and this is no different. I'm still wearing my Glory Maternity Dress from earlier in the year and still loving it. 

Breastmates clothes are made from great materials, they wash so well and they fit!! I really can't recommend them enough!

I plan to wear this cami at night allowing for easy access and support from my maternity bras. They have a huge range of other styles of feeding singlets if you're in the market for one.

2) Nightwear
Consider what you're going to wear at night. You'll want to stay warm, especially in the winter months and feeding can often leave your chest and shoulders exposed.

This time around I've gone for flannel winter PJs so I can unbutton them at the front. I should probably have thought more about my colour choice but the range available at the time was disappointingly limited!

3) Hydration!
I did not realise how much I would need to drink!! So. crazy. thirsty! I'm normally a cup drinker, but having bottles around was just so handy! I would always have one in my handbag! Don't even think about leaving the house without water.

One of the best "new Mama" gifts I was given in my first week with my first born was a couple of bottles of flavoured water. I was told at the time "water can get pretty boring when you're drinking so much" and I didn't really comprehend how true that was until it hit me!! Flavoured water quickly became my treat friend. This time I've been slowly stocking up so I can have my water-treats on hand.

4) Feeding friends
I found it so hugely important and encouraging to have breastfeeding Mama friends. First time round I had 3 close friends who all had babies within a few months of each other. Each of us breastfed and it was never ever a big deal. It was totally normal to us. I'm so thankful for that! I'm also thankful for a Mum and Nana who tell it like it is and fed each of their children (my mum had 5!). They are hugely encouraging (and honest). And a Dad who told me to get "over it" and "just feed my baby forgoodnesssake". Its so vital to have encouraging supportive people around you, whether they are feeding at the time or not.

Here's to a successful feeding relationship with my newest daughter! I can't wait to have that bond with her and be able to provide, sustain, soothe and connect with her all at once! 

READ MORE:
Breastmates Glory Maternity Dress Review
Follow Breastmates on twitter

Baby book reviews for 21 month old

Millas Baby Books

This week on The Blog I'll be focusing on preparing for a new baby! Thats where my mental focus is at right now; Planning our second home birth means we need everything prepared for 37 weeks ready to go for whenever labour comes on. Things need to be gathered, made and put aside!

My main focus is on preparing Milla for a little sister, we're reading her books on babies, having intentional play dates with babies around, talking about her little sister all the time and what a great big sister she'll be.

We've been doing all the theory with her, but I'm still not sure how she will respond when she wakes up in the morning (or comes back home) and there's a little baby all of a sudden!

We dont plan to have her at the birth, I'm not the most graceful birther and I dont think she's old enough to understand that Mum's still okay. In saying that, we want to keep things as normal as possible for her so we'll be trying to avoid an over night stay anywhere and anything completely out of the ordinary. It will mostly depend what time of day I go into labour and how quickly it progresses. We'll call it as we see it but Nanny Moo is on hand to come over and keep Milla entertained.

Millas favourite baby book: 
My New Baby by Stella Gurney & Fiona Freund

As soon as we came across this book in the library Milla has been obsessed with it. The pictures on each page are bright and engaging, there are little cartoons that are perfect for Millas stage and development to draw her attention to a page. She loves finding the flowers, hearts, sunshine, guitar, birds etc. 

The words are mostly in caption form, short little sentences that I will pick and choose what to read. Milla knows the book completely, she'll see the page with the baby scan on it and will point up at our wall with our scans on it and say "baby". 

On the page where it says "Grandma will come and look after me when the baby is coming" she says "Nanny!"

She sees the little boy kissing his little brother and she leans forward and kisses the book. 

The book says a few random things, like babies looking like aliens and the baby not being able to each icecream or lollies (Milla doesn't know what either are) so I swap and change words as we go. I also add in "Mum and Dad" because the book doesn't mention any dad throughout. I want Milla to understand that the whole family is getting a baby, not just her and not just me. 

I highly recommend this book for your 1-2 year old! 

Mums favourite baby book:
Hello Baby by Jenni Overend

This book is way above Millas head, its wordy, the pictures are (beautifully) hand drawn. It would suit a child older and more developed (Milla is currently 21 months old).

However, I love love love this book. When I first bought it online ($11!) and it arrived and I read it I cried my way through it. 

It is a beautiful, realistic and detailed account of a normal home birth. 

(put this picture in for kicks, MrMoo said "wow, a family show" when he saw it)

Its a story of a new baby being added to an already established family. Each member has a part to play, they lay out the clothes, stack the fire wood, help mum through her contractions, Dad is encouraging and available, the midwife is just another member of the family, she is kind and professional and fits in perfectly. The sister arrives for the birth bringing flowers and food. The family lays out bedding infront of the fire and tucks in together when its all over and are thankful for their Little One. 

 Its a beautiful home birth and just what I am hoping / preparing for ours to be like. I am enjoying just reading the book for my own encouragement and edification.

Do you have any tips on helping us help our soon to be 22 month old meet her little sister? Leave a comment and let me know! I am so encouraged by your words of wisdom and experience! 

Peace x

Fearless

Preparing my mind, body and spirit for what lays ahead. 

There's something completely fierce about child birth, when I have felt my most strongest, weakest and feminine all in the same moments. 

I know what lay ahead and this time around I am embracing it and doing all I can to be prepared, educated and equipped. 

Fearless. And joyful. 

6 Mothery Things

A few mothery things from a mothery weekend:

• On Saturday we took a spontaneous 1.5 hr trip to Hanmer Springs, a thermal village with hot pools here in Canterbury. The planets just seemed to align and cause it to be so, and there we were. It was something I really wanted to do with MrMoo and Milla before the newest baby is here so we could all enjoy it and all get in the pools. And the weather was amazing. Milla was amazing. Everything just worked out. 
• After we got out of the hot pools I had a real honest to goodness contraction. All I could think about was that I hadn't saved my midwives number in my phone yet... And the bench of dishes I had left back in Christchurch. No idea if the hot pools (25 & 26deg (the temp of a birth pool)) and the contraction are related. Haven't had any since. 
• I'm so excited about our newest baby whose getting ready to be born. She's been head down for weeks, I'm getting achy and big, and as my last daughter was a tiny bit early I'm preparing for this one to be born a little early too (just incase).
• Even though I am just so excited about having a second, I am also undeniably a little sad that Milla wont have my undivided attention any more (well... between her, the housework and the fun stuff. You know what I mean). I'll be pulled between two little ones with completely different needs. I'm a little sad about that. But I know it will work.
• I'm thankful that everything I need to be, in my eyes, a successful Mother I get on tap from God. Patience, love, selflessness, energy, courage, strength. It all comes from him. Thats what makes me know I'm ready for this baby. A bassinet and a capsule we still haven't got, but He carries those who have young. And that makes it all okay.
• We're planning our second home birth (still not sure if we'll prepare for a water birth or not..) , there sure is a lot of extra things to get and organise vs hospital bag. Glamourous things too: Rubbish bags, old towels, sieves (*cough*)...
  
  Here's somethings I want to know from you. I'd appreciate an email or a comment:
  - Any recommendations for light novel reading in the middle of the night while feeding
  - Did you blog leading up to having (and afterwards) your second child? Leave me a link to the tags, I'd love to read about your experience.
  - Who goes in the car first. Toddler or baby? I'm thinking toddler - then at least I know she wont run away while the capsule is strapped in, right?
  - Are any of you seasoned home birthers? Anything extra I should think about that I might not have come across yet? (especially regarding child care, introducing toddler and baby at home, etc etc etc)

A Happy Birthday

*

After the midwives and friends had left: Just me, baby and husband in our dimly lit bedroom right where I had given birth only a few hours earlier. Bliss.

A dear friend** of mine, Dee, is celebrating a birthday soon. A real life, as it happens, birthday. You know the kind, when a baby is born.

Dee is a total warrior. Since reading her blog she has inspired me in so many ways, and just talking with my husband now (whose all for it), she has recently inspired me with her views on birth; A celebration, an occasion, a joy.  What a revolutionary idea!

For my future births, husband, kids and I are going to be celebrating a happy-birth-day. A new way of looking at it. A new way of going into labour. A celebration.

Heck, its just blowing my mind thinking about all that implicates.

* I never shown images before of me breastfeeding. The sagas this week have made me extremely proud to be a breastfeeding woman. I think no matter how long you have breastfed for - one day or 10 years - you should be proud too. I also think that people can't learn to breastfeed if they don't have any information, stories or support so I should not shy away from sharing about our breastfeeding journey.

**I say "friend", more like "I read every word she writes in her blog and on twitter but she doesn't really know me at all. Creepy much?

Grills under the Ozone

I hate having a messy home but a bench full of dishes, food on the floor and chairs scattered everywhere is a great problem to have when 12 of your greatest friends joined you for a barbecue at yours.

We were given a barbecue from an old neighbour and fellow youth pastor a few years ago. It lacked a gas bottle so it sat amongst the elements and spiders for a year. You see, we have never been the barbecue-y types. Mr Moo doesn't enter the kitchen and isn't the hunter gather type. He would much rather dial for a pizza (I guess thats still gathering?). I never thought about the ol' outside grill. I just figured it wasn't his cup of tea. This year we were given a gas bottle and had it filled in prep for our birth.

It turns out, barbecueing is in the blood. In the genetics. Fire. Primal instincts. Whatever. We have had 4 grill ups in the last 2 weeks. We are unstoppable. The best part? I'm not cooking. Sure, I don't get off scott free. I still prepare the food, do the dishes and all that jazz. But its really lovely to sit back and gaze at my handsome man with an oversized slice spatula thing in his grasp.

Tonight he almost served us raw chicken. We have a lot to learn about the grill but it feels nice to be entering another realm of adulthood. Many, many fond childhood memories were made around a barbecue. Its nice to be doing the same.

Oh, and we filled up the birth pool too and had a paddle. It was stinking hot here underneath the ozone hole. I never ended up giving birth in it - can I still call it a birth pool? Or is it just a pool now?

[Thank you to all those who have taken up the call to look after the Sisterhood. You are all wonderful and I feel infinitely blessed. This is what blogging is about]

Camillas Birth Story

Our first real life 3-Way-Cuddle

A lot of people have been asking me about Camillas birth so I thought I would write out a basic birth story for my blog, and a much more detailed one for my own personal records.

My labour was short. Probably too short for my liking if I'm going to be honest. I had been conditioned to believe that first time pregnancies take days and days of labour before anything happened. So, on Saturday night when my contractions started during a walk to the supermarket for chocolate I tried to push them aside and I kept telling Graeme and myself that labour can start and stop. We tried to watch a movie and got about half way through it when my contractions suddenly picked up.

We had a very fast home birth after a very short labour. There was no time for an exam to see how far along I was, so based off intensity I think I was probably in 'established labour' for 2.5 hours - maybe. I pushed for 30 minutes total.

Infact, it was so fast we didn't get time to fill the pool.

I went into shock a little bit when my contractions intensified. I fainted and vomited and there's a definite period that I just don't remember - Like how I ended up on our bed. In my head I was thinking that that intensity would be lasting for days and I didn't know how I could do it. Looking back I now understand that stage was my transition - going from labour into pushing. It happens to most women and they reach a point of "i can't do this" however, at the time I felt like a failure and I was really scared.

The midwife arrived in a hurry and shortly after I announced that I needed to push.

It was so instinctive. Nothing like on the movies where they instruct you when to push and how hard. My body knew what it needed to do and I was just along for the ride. I could feel everything.

I pushed. I pushed. I made a few jokes. I pushed. I will always remember the moment I turned and looked into Graeme's eyes. They were welled up with tears and so full of love.

Camilla came quickly in one big burst. Usually the head comes out and then there is a pause as the baby rotates so the shoulders can fit through. There was no pause and no changing position for us. I was told I had to get her out straight away so I did. She flew out and landed on the bed. Seriously. She flew. We went from seeing the top of her head (which was crazy!!) to having her in my arms in seconds. Graeme calls her the salmon, I call her our mermaid.

She was placed in our arms, sticky and covered in white vernix. She was as pink as a pig and our little princess. Absolutely perfect.

The next 4 hours flashed by as we enjoyed hours of skin to skin contact (a fantastic way to bond) established feeding (she latched on straight away and hasn't stopped since!) Was weighed (7 pound 6) and measured. The placenta was delivered. It probably took longer than it could have because I was exhausted. I was stitched up and paracetamol'd up.

I will always remember Graeme wrapping his arms around us and praying for us while the midwives were in our hallway. They could hear us and they waited, I so appreciated that. It was a beautiful moment.

Then, it was time for the midwives to leave and Graeme and I were tucked up in bed with our sleeping daughter between us, wrapped up in her wollen blanket. It was seriously perfect. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Giving birth is one of the most natural and empowering things I have ever done. Somewhere deep down my body took over and did what it had to do to deliver our daughter. The midwives were there to help and offer encouragement and a few tips but when it comes down to it, its our bodies that do all of the hard work. I'm sorry if you have not been able to experience that, I mean no disrespect, but want to express how normal labour and birth is. It should not be feared, horror stories should not be the norm. I think its unfortunate that the horror stories are the most common stories to reach your ears, especially when you are pregnant. Birth is natural, empowering and totally forgiving to your body and mind. Women have been doing it for centuries.

Graeme was my main support person and he was everything I could have wanted him to be. He took a little straight talking in his stride (At different points I told him I hated his iPhone, not to touch my legs and that his soothing voice was pi**ing me off!!!!) He was my rock. We also had 2 other girl friends arranged to be support - one arrived just as I was about to start pushing but missed the birth and the other due to a whole lot of hastiness and confusion didn't arrive until after. I think I'll always regret that somewhat. My support people were invaluable to me and we couldn't have had the birth and care we did without them.

Finally, on home birth; Aside from the fact that we would not have had time to go to the hospital and had planned a home birth anyway, I wouldn't have it any other way. It was so indescribably comforting to be labouring in my own home, not have to get into the car (how on earth do people do that!!??) and to be made toast and milo afterwards by our support people. I loved falling asleep in my own bed and waking up to Graeme (definitely couldn't have done that in hospital) and all of my comforts. Almost everyone who came to visit in the following days said how much of a "love nest" it was. It was warm, dim, and we were able to stay in bed together for most of the following days while we recovered and bonded with our daughter. I will not think twice about planning a home birth for our future children.

Thanks for reading. I hope I didn't share too many details but just enough to satisfy your curiosities. I'd like to empower and encourage you too, so if you have any questions or would like to know more details please just let me know. Email me on sophieslim@moo2.co.nz :)


Extras for the Interested:

As soon as labour picked up and we couldn't fool ourselves into thinking it would stop we tried to take a baby in baby out (like here and here) photo. I had adjusted the top specifically for that purpose earlier in the week and I remember being really annoyed that there were shadows and the lighting was terrible. I was having a contraction during this photo, and a few seconds later passed out. When I "woke up" I was on the floor with our duvet and could hear Graeme on the phone to our midwife. The next thing I knew I was lying on our bed without my top and leggings off and my midwife was taking my blood pressure. Odd.

I have since decided to use the photos in this post as my 'baby in' version.

This is the first ever photo of Camilla. 

Love

Welcome, My Love

Introducing Camilla Louise, born 12.58am Sunday 28th August. 3.26 kgs (7pound 6oz), 51cm long.

The three of us are doing well, the first day of her life consisted of feeding, sleeping, lots of cuddles, a tiny bit of crying, a massive poo and a stream of visitors. Just as it should be.

We are completely in love. 

More later

Baby Lists

If you know me, I'm a bit of a Listy. I have lists for everything. Even lists about lists I need to write. I get so much satisfaction out of crossing things off them. You might think this is because I'm administration-like and organised but really its because I'm not. I learnt a long time ago that I had to write things down or things turned ugly. 

My current lists to get ready for Baby:

• "Things Needed for Homebirth" (Just need to finish making the "birth mat" and to warn the neighbours!)
• "Things to make sure of when Sophie goes into labour" <- that's for Graeme ;)
• "Things to get for the Baby" (Just need a cot. Will probably buy that at the end of the year)
• "Meal Ideas to freeze and extra things to buy" (Waffles, soups, pastas, ice blocks and more!)
• "Questions to ask the Midwife" (Currently all questions have been answered (and if not by her then by Google)
• "Thank-You Cards to be Sent" (Have bought the cards and slowly gathering addresses. Want to include a baby photo so they will be sent later down the track. Hoorah)

So far most things have been crossed off most of the lists. I am feeling very very satisfied with our progress. A lot of anxiousness was relieved this weekend when Graeme blew up our birth pool (with his bare lungs!!) we did have an electric pump to use for the job but maybe doing it manually was more manly and satisfying? It was entertaining to watch anyway. We filled it (took about an hour and a half from a pretty low pressured tap) and managed to connect the hose to our kitchen tap. 

Success! 

**I still need to write a "To make sure of if Sophie goes to hospital" list :)