Dear Baby, 4 Month Update

I have teared up many times this week thinking of the leaps and bounds our little girl had made in the last month. All of a sudden she doesn't seem like a little new born any more, she has personality, and that scares me a little. I know from now everything is just going to go far too fast and I just need to enjoy every moment.

Camilla is very attached to us so if an unfamilar person holds and and she can't see us she will drop her bottom lip and wimper "maumm maumm", and if she's really terrified she will screw her face up and scream, real big girl tears falling down her cheeks. As soon as she is back into our arms she relax's and is completely fine. Its pretty sweet, and wonderful to know that she actually likes us and wants to be around us. A lot of people comment and say they can see we have a deep bond already. I put this down to many things. Home birth, weeks of skin to skin, lots of attention and physical touch, baby wearing, breastfeeding on demand, just to name a few.

She is a really good talker now, and when she gets on a roll she will have quite the conversation. At this stage I think her voice is quite softly spoken, but I guess that can change.

All of a sudden she is so much more co-ordinated and flexible. She can easily find things with her hands, grip them and pick them up, and she spends a lot of time holding onto her knees or her feet now. She hasn't lifted them up to her mouth but that will come with time.

The other day I was sitting with her and I suddenly noticed how much fluffy hair she has secretly grown recently!! She was born with a lot of dark hair all over her head but it quickly fell out only leaving a small mullet at the back. Suddenly, she has fluffy hair on top that is so much longer than what it was. The difference probably wouldn't be noticeable to the untrained eye, but it certainly is to me.

I guess the big news is that at 4 months and 2 days (on December 30th) Camilla rolled over for the very first time. It happened while we were having a lay in on our holiday. Camilla was wide awake on her back next to me talking away while I was dozing and trying to get a few more minutes of sleep. I opened my eyes and Camilla was on her side looking and me and then very very slowly she rolled over right onto her tummy!! She did it again the next day, and since then we haven't been able to keep her in the same spot! She is ready to move, and once again, my heart broke. My baby, the big girl. * sniff *

This week we also moved her into her cot, but I guess I should write about that in her 5 month update, as this is being posted a little late.

Dearest Camilla, 

You wont remember these months in years to come but I know that they are so important and they will help to shape you into the person you are when you are reading these. Right now you love us as much as we love you - completely. You only like to be held by your Dad or myself, and when someone else holds you, you cry and wimper until you are back in our arms. Its so wonderful to know that you love us.  

Right now in our city there are a lot of earth quakes and I really fear for your safety. I know that you completely rely on us and I promise we will do whatever we can to keep you safe and out of harms way. We've been living with them for a year and a half now and just when we thought they were over and we could move on they have started again. I really hope you wont remember them and they finish bothering us soon. 

Maybe that's why I was so scared when you learnt to roll over all by yourself last week. I knew I could no longer pop you down in a safe place and know that you would stay there. You are growing up and I know one day I wont be able to protect you like I can now. One day you will make your own decisions and have you own way of doing things. Your father and I plan to prepare you for that day, but that doesn't make it any easier. You are our little princess. Our little baby. And you are growing up far too quickly. 

When you rolled over for the first time I was proud too. Scared, but mostly proud. You figured it out all by yourself! You are so strong and inquisitive. We were having a little sleep in while we were on holiday in Westport with Nana and Grandad. You were wide awake and talking away to yourself next to me. I happened to open my eyes and you were on your side and in slow motion rolled over from your back to your tummy. I was super excited and woke your Dad up. We both clapped and cheered and covered you in kisses. You haven't stopped rolling since!!

Thank you for being you.

Love, Maumm (sometimes when you cry for us it sounds like you're saying Mum :) )

pretty photos by my Mama