Plunket Pepe group - Circa January 2012
Pre baby I had all of these misconceptions about what it would look like to be a mother, one thing I got wrong was how much I would need mother to mother support. Initially I thought it was a bit weird that we would exchange phone numbers at antenatal - what do I have in common with these people? I thought.
Then along came baby.
During an interview I had last week I was asked why I thought it was important that The Sisterhood was for ladies. I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that in the last year I have realised and now understand how absolutely vital it is to have peer support. A year ago I didn't understand that. Now I do. Now I need it.
Together our Plunket group went through the Pepe course. I explained what happened there (parenting skills, taking care of a new born, chit chat, life) to my own Mother, she thought it was brilliant, they certainly didn't have anything like that in her day.
To cut a long story short most of us have managed to stay in touch. We have a fortnightly play date together for the ones who haven't gone back to work, and last week we went out for dessert and a glass of wine. While it was dark. Alone. I was 'dressed up'. No one was sitting in my lap. It was fab.u.lous.
So last week while we sipped wine we shared a few more birth stories, laughed a little and just enjoyed each others company I thanked them for being in my life.
Each of these ladies is unique with different backgrounds, birth stories, parenting styles, hopes and dreams. But each of them is a friend that I have shared this big part of my life with.
Each of these ladies is unique with different backgrounds, birth stories, parenting styles, hopes and dreams. But each of them is a friend that I have shared this big part of my life with.
If you are heading into a pregnancy please hear these words: Don't underestimate this support.
Seek to make new (with baby) friends, people who will know what you mean when you say you didn't get any sleep last night (its not that you tossed and turned for half an hour. Its that you didn't. get. any.). Make an effort to meet with your antenatal group, your Plunket group, your local playgroup. Go dancing with your baby: If only for that hot cuppa and a chat to another parent afterwards.
Who did you have around you when you had a little baby? What made them so amazing? Leave a comment and let me know!
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I miss my antenatal group! Moving away from them was probably the hardest thing about moving to Christchurch. 3.5 years on they STILL meet for weekly coffee! Can't wait to go and visit them again!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! I always tell my new mum friends to do as much as they can to meet other mums, as it is so important to have the support of people who know what you're going through, people you can burst into tears with and know they will do what they can to help you.
ReplyDeleteI still meet with my yoga mums (those of us left in Dunners!) every week; they are my rocks. And now it's round two for almost all of us :)
Totally agree with all this! My antenatal group were an awesome support for me, especially having no family or friends with young children at the time. Although at the beginning it was a bit hard as all we had to talk about were our children we quickly began to know and support each other and talk about everything else as well!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more! I'm living in the UK, away from NZ friends and family - having other mothers with babies to talk to and meet with is so important!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more! I live in the UK, away from NZ friends and family - having friends with babies to support you and going through the same things is so important!
ReplyDelete